Six months ago I had surgery to remove an ovarian cyst. At the time I was told that recovery would take about 6 weeks. I knew at the time that recovery would probably take more than 6 weeks. But I just assumed at the most I would be off work for an extra month.
At every appointment after that my GP would tell me I was going to be off for even longer. First it was two or three months, then three or four months, then six months. And now I have no idea when I will be going back to work. It became obvious that something was slowing my recovery. Eventually I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
CFS is a condition that causes extreme tiredness, muscle pain and a whole load of other symptoms. For the past few months my life has revolved around working out how much activity I am able to do without becoming ill. But it seems that at the moment doing almost anything makes me ill.
As I am writing this I am having to deal with dizziness just from going to one short puppy training class. Even writing this post will make me tired. I never imagined that tiredness would affect my ability to think and get my thoughts in order but it does.
I think the most difficult thing about this is having to accept I have limits on how much I am able to do. Last summer I would quite easily have been able to spend 6 or 7 hours on my feet. Now I have to plan any trips around having a break whenever I need one. Even just going for a 10 minute walk can cause anything from breathlessness to back pain.
I do want to note that I am not writing this for pity or sympathy. I know that compared to some people my chronic fatigue is rather mild. But I need somewhere to vent. Because having a chronic illness really is rather annoying. I can’t go back to college this year simply because I can’t cope with 3 days of classes. I am bored almost constantly.
But I think the most annoying thing is that I have to just wait and see if I get better. And there is nothing my GP can do to help. He does as much as he can but that isn’t much. It turns out that Scotland is really a terrible place to have CFS. There are only 3 clinics in all of Scotland specialising in CFS/ ME. Which is pretty terrible when you compare that to England which has over 40 clinics.
In all this chronic fatigue thing is really annoying. I suppose there are some good things that have come out of all this. But I think I will save them for another day.