I Am Not My Illness?

If I were to summarise this blog it would probably go something like “the story of a girl studying graphic design”. But thats not really true. It is true that at one point I did study graphic design, but not for very long. If we want to get scientific about it we could say this blog has been around for 603 days and I was in college for 11% of that time (71 days to be exact). So this blog really isn’t about a girl studying graphic design.

For the past year it has been the story of a girl living with a chronic illness and a single ovary. I wish I could say having an ovary removed gives you superpowers but it unfortunately does not. And to be honest it really doesn’t affect my life. But having a chronic fatigue¬†does.

It might not affect the books I read or the movies I watch but it does affect what I do every day. I am constantly reminded that I have this illness. But I also have to remind myself that I am more than just this illness.

And I think thats why I would describe this blog as the tales of a girl studying graphic design. Because while its not true right now, its a plan for the future. It might not be a very good plan and I know that my illness is going to have some sort of role in it. But its better than spending my days just being that girl with the chronic illness.

Not gonna lie, I have no idea what the point of this post was. But I’ve been having a bad week and this is the result.

Thanks for reading.
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Leave a comment


  1. Hang on, you can pull through. We all have crap to deal with. For me right now it’s a lack of cash flow…

  2. We are so much more than a single definition. Even if they’re true, they aren’t the whole of the complex and varied structure that makes a human being a soul and personality. This is beautiful.

  3. It is ok to vent and let it all out. I hope someday your dreams and goals come true for you. I also hope that you get well soon. I may not know you personally but I do know that we are only human and we have good days and bad days. I will support you as I follow your blog and be here to pick your spirits up as much as I can :).

    Your fellow blogger Jennifer aka Craftastic.

  4. I hope your week gets better. You’re over halfway through < 3

  5. Thanks for sharing your feelings with your readers.
    The point of your post is clear to me, and you are quite right, it is an affirmation that you are much more than your illness, and athough it will accompany you (for a time?) you aren’t going to let it take over your life, because you’ve got lots of other things to do, like study graphic design and write your blog, among many other things. :)
    Tomorrow’s Friday, in Spain, my students call it Saint Friday! Hope you have a good weekend ;)

  6. You are going to be okay. It will take longer to get there, but you will do well. Thanks for sharing with us and we”ll keep warm thoughts for you.

  7. To have a goal and a hope for the future is a very good plan, no matter where you are right now or how life is playing it’s games.

  8. I, for one, am glad you wrote this post. It was helpful for me to read. Thank you.

  9. You reach people all around the world because of your blog. Good on you for keeping up the regular posts, and for sharing your dreams and hopes for the future. Getting well is the first step in reaching them. Sunshine and hugs from Down Under.

  10. Living with an illness is really rotten. You’re right – you are not your illness, you are all of you. That includes your illness, but only part. You have goals and dreams. Work for them the best way you can! You are an inspiration.

  11. We’ve all had those kinds of weeks but I do hope you’re feeling better now. Blessings.

  12. Kit Dunsmore

     /  August 29, 2014

    When you are suffering from something that impacts your productivity, energy, and mood on a daily basis, it’s easy to think that this is who you are. I have had the same fight with years of depression and fatigue. Even though I had good days, everytime I was in the middle of a bad one, I thought my disease was who I was and that I would be that way forever. But I’m not any disease I have. I am just affected by it. Who I am is much more than a single label. Hope you find a path to better health and more energy. It can take a lot of work to unravel the causes of fatigue, but it’s worth the effort.

  13. Don’t want to ‘like’ this post. You are in a difficult place just now but I get the feeling that writing the post sorted things in your mind. I wish you strength to deal with it all.

  14. Wishing you a better week. I too didn’t wish to like this post, but doing so to show support. x

  15. Hi Emma – thanks for dropping by. I can see life is not a bowl of cherries at the mo’. Nonetheless I thought your latest blog was really positive in describing how you are dealing with a difficult time and it obviously resonated with many of us. Thank you. Moke

  16. Hang in there! I was having a horrible week too. I hope you’ll have better weeks. :)

  17. Hi Emma,

    Hope you’re well – I’ve nominated you for a Liebster Award (totally up to you if you want to take part).

    You can find the details on my blog – http://samsiddique.com/2014/09/01/the-liebster-award/

    Wishing you a better week lovely xx

  18. People do recover from Chronic Fatigue, I know a doctor and a linguist who did, so never lose sight of that. Graphic design can be done from a desktop these days as you saw from my blog. Keep aspiring.

    • I know chronic fatigue gets better but I haven’t heard of anyone totally recovering from it. I recently spoke to a neighbour who has had CFS/ME for over 20 years. But yes, thank you.

  19. Are you sure it hasn’t given you super powers? Maybe the chronic fatigue is your super power and it’s just backlashing because you’re not using it right. Have you tried passing it on? Putting other people to sleep with the power of your mind??? :)

  20. Time isn’t as linear as people think. If you claim your future, and prepare yourself mentally for when it happens, you are already there. It’s good to see someone so young who understands that.

  21. Do not worry, you are young.Everything will get sorted out.

    if you believe in Hinduism, I may be able to recommend some slokas . which are defective.

    You need not convert.
    PS. Hinduism does not believe in proselytizing.

    All the Best

  22. It should read ‘effective instead of Defective. Serious error which costs the message

  23. Thank you for stopping by and liking my post. I love your watercolour paintings they are lovely. Living with chronic illness must be difficult for you but keep gently reminding yourself that you are doing fine and be kind to yourself . I hope things start to improve for you x

  24. Thanks for sharing this, Emma. Keep writing/creating/being the brilliance that is you :)


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