On Negativity

There is a person I want to talk about. I sort of look up to them in a way. It was because of this person talking about their medical issues that I realised what I was experiencing was not just the after effects of anaesthetics and could possibly be caused by something else. We were both diagnosed with CFS/ ME around the same time last year. However I was disappointed to hear this person say that they had a bad year partially because of being diagnosed with CFS/ ME and just being sick in general.

Here is the thing. I don’t see the point of being negative about stuff. I mean yeah some crappy stuff happened last year, but good stuff happened too. Its not like focusing on the crappy stuff that happened will change it. You can’t change the past by complaining about it. So what is the point in focusing on it.

Here is an example. Last year I went to Alton Towers with my sister. Even though we live together we don’t really do stuff together. So this was one of the only times we spent an entire day just the two of us. And it was brilliant. We talked, we argued, we ate doughnuts and we went on a bunch of roller coasters. However it was a typical English summer so it rained all day. I didn’t wear the right shoes so I got blisters all over my feet. But that didn’t stop us from having fun. The bad stuff that happened didn’t make the good stuff any less good.

The thing is I could quite easily say that 2014 was a bad year. Because if we are just focusing on the negatives then technically it was. I found out I might have seasonal affective disorder. I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I spent a good part of the year on anti-depressants. I had to resign from my job. I’m basically living off savings. I would say from that view my year was pretty crappy.

But because of that good stuff happened too. I’m not scared to talk to a doctor any more. I can see that my chronic fatigue is getting better. Its hard to compare month to month but by comparing now to this time last year I can see an improvement. I had been wanting to leave my job for a while and this was just the kick up the butt I needed to actually do it. I’m better at saving my money now. Because I had to become better, but thats still a good thing.

What I’m trying to say is I don’t see the point in focusing on the bad stuff that happened in the past. Its the past. Its not like I can change it. What is the point in sitting around saying my life is terrible because some crappy stuff happened. Basically I don’t see the point in being Marvin the Android when I could be Arthur Dent. Or that other guy with two faces.

I would also like to that Dagny who partially inspired this post.

lolcat

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61 thoughts on “On Negativity

  1. Excellent attitude, Emma! I’ve always been an optimist. It is a pleasure and makes me feel so good to know that I have helped in any way.

  2. Wow!! Great post! You just made me think of this quote i was reading from my notebook a few minutes ago…’let go, or be dragged’. It’s a zen proverb. 🙂

  3. Excellent attitude and science has a lot to say about our thoughts becoming reality. I see increasingly better health in your future! Love your blog and seeing what you are reading.

  4. Sometimes, like with my blog, there actually was/is a point to focusing on the crappy stuff ~ like unleashing my traumatic experiences, rather than bottling them up and making matters worse for me. I have found that writing about it has helped a lot.
    I guess there is no right or wrong as it just depends on the individual. If you can leave the negativity behind, then I say go for it! But with myself (and like many others), it will take a long, long time to start the healing process and to continue along the healing path.

    1. I totally understand what you mean. I’ve been through a couple of traumatic experiences in my past too. And I found writing about it helped. I guess everyone is different and what helps one person won’t help another.

  5. you remind me of a long lost friend of mine. Her name was also Emma 🙂 your attitude towards life is amazing. I hope i can put some of that in my life as well 🙂

  6. We all suffer at different times and on different levels. I have found that it’s in the places we’ve been wounded that we find the most wisdom. My suffering has made me more compassionate and I’ve developed that through meditation. Above all else I see this life as a beautiful challenging game that evolves and warps as time goes on. I wish you every happiness for the future.

    1. I’ve heard lots of people say stuff like how you deal with the hard times shows you what type of person you are. I never really believed them till now. Thanks for your comment.

  7. I love your attitude and your blog name! I’m a CFS survivor, at one time I was on 12 different medications. Now I use essential oils and a vitamin D supplement. Thank you for finding my blog, I’m following along on your journey as well. 😊

    1. Oh its nice to meet someone that has actually recovered from CFS. My doctor keeps telling me its possible to get better he just doesn’t know how long that will take.

      Fortunately I’m not on 12 different medications. I take painkillers as needed and I take stuff to help me sleep. Though I’m hoping to not be on that long term.

      1. I’m happy to connect with you too. My Dr was kind but as kindly as I can say, also very old fashioned. I went to my local health food store and asked my friend for help. I went on a Sambu elderberry cleanse and a Candidas busting program. I found out I had chronic candidas and my whole system was out of whack. I went on the candidas diet and eliminated a lot of problem foods. Little by little I introduced them back into my diet. Now I use essential oils to bring back the calm in my life. Lavendar and chamomile for sleep and stress relief. I also had taxed adrenals which can make someone chronically exhausted. Peppermint oil and pink grapefruit oil give me the mental boost I need for focus and concentration. I wish you all the best on your journey. 😊

        1. Oh I might try the chamomile and lavender. I’ve been having lots of problems over the last couple of months with insomnia and I’ve found stress and anxiety make the CFS much much worse. Thanks 😀

          1. It really does, I was diagnosed with insomnia when I was 13. But I only use essential oils and natural remedies. Valerian is what I used for years. But lavender oil rubbed on the soles of the feet is a God send. I’m happy to help blue. 😃

  8. That’s definitely the right attitude to have! Such a great post and I love the image at the end 🙂

  9. Bravo! Beautiful attitude. Thanks for liking my post. I still don’t know what you had for breakfast though 😉

  10. So… because this person is experiencing her reality in her way, you are judging her? It doesn’t sound like you know a lot about this person, other than she was diagnosed around the same time you were. She very well could have had a bad year. There’s nothing wrong with being honest about your own reality. It is great that you had other things to focus on. It is great that you can value the good in your life. It isn’t so great to feel superior to other people for doing things differently nor to judge people when you don’t have all of the details.

    1. I think that being optmisitic is great, but honestly, I agree with Laura here. I don’t see much info about the person being talked about other than that she was diagnosed with CFS around the same time as you were, and that she said that she’s having a bad year just because she had CFS. I feel like if that person being talked about read this, I very much feel like she would feel very misunderstood and very angry. I don’t think this post will even help her feel uplifted, and she might be feeling like trying to be as optimistic as you are is tougher than you think.

      Gotta remember Habit Number Five: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

    2. In no way am I judging this person. I do not feel superior to them. This post has come about from multiple conversations I’ve had over the last week.

      All I was trying to say is I realised from this person saying they had a bad year, partially because of CFS, that I realised I don’t want to focus on the bad aspects of my year. It is extremely easy to become depressed with CFS and bad thoughts don’t help.

      I know this person does not think the same way I do and I’m not saying they should. This is just how I feel.

  11. It’s a good post but you can’t compare my year to yours – you see my nephew hanged himself at Easter, then my sisters have refused to talk to me all year because i believe in God and my God did it, so i must have done it – my other sister’s daughter died in a car accident 5 years ago at aged 21, My mother is 84 and got an infection that led to septicaemia, but she survived which was good, But my house is being repossessed by the bank because i had to give up work 4 year due to FMS/CFS and Severe Depression and all my savings have gone into keeping the house, which i really should have sold when i knew i couldn’t return to work but a friend talked me out of it. So i am not only penniless, except for benefits i am shortly to be homeless too.

    1. I wasn’t even trying to compare my year to yours. It sounds like you’ve had a very bad year and I am sorry for that.

      This was just my personal feelings about my 2014.

      1. Sorry was having a bad day. Was diagnosed with FMS/CFS 3 years ago after i fell down stairs and didn’t recover even though nothing was broken. My life is a roller coaster but my heart stays in the middle where the peace is.

  12. What is this compulsion, negative versus positive? Face reality square on, then walk on the sunny side of the street. Sounds to me that that is what you are doing.

  13. This post adequately sums up the reason why I went ahead and posted my “it’s been a great year” Facebook summary. 2014 wasn’t the best year, but it wasn’t the worst, either. I know there are mixed feelings on the Facebook collage, but mine actually helped me to understand there were quite a few positive moments in the midst of the storm that was my life last year. For that reason, I chose to post it. There are others who have it worse than I do. I focus on that when the negativity gremlin comes sneaking around. Thanks for posting.

  14. Just what I needed to read right now, thank you. I need to massively up my positivity quota. Life really is good! Best wishes for 2015.

  15. Thanks for jumping on my blog this morning. I came over here and read this one about negativity. Have to agree that 2014 pretty much was a bummer year for me as well but I’m an optimist. I can agree that a good day with your sister trumps blisters any time. 🙂
    Jane

  16. Nice post! Your honesty about the issues shows the value in maintaining a positive attitude, despite the high cost of it. Sharing also helps in that effort, since often when we’re in the “valleys” of gloom it helps us back up the road to the “peaks” if we know there are others gaining strength from our own struggle to overcome. Although we don’t know one another personally, I think we could both agree that there are always others out there thinking of others who struggle with pain and praying for their strength to go on. Have courage! 🙂
    BTW: thanks for liking my post. -dc

  17. I hear what you’re saying but I don’t blame people who’ve had a hard time focusing on the bad stuff, at least for a while. I actually think it helps some people to allow themselves time to be sad before they can start trying to move on – if they desperately try to avoid thinking about their problems sometimes problems can linger at the back of your head waiting to haunt you! Does that make sense? I think it’s important to find a method of coping with bad stuff that works for you and it certainly sounds like you’ve done that! Good luck for the future.

    Zoe

    1. No I don’t blame people focusing on the bad stuff either. I know exactly what you are saying as that has happened to me in the past. People need time to heal and get over what has happened.

  18. Thanks for visiting my blog–as your visit led me back to you! We share a lot of the same likes from Star Trek to animals and photography. And hold some of the same views, such as not dwelling on the negative. It is nice to find a kindred spirit!

  19. I agree with your point. My New Year’s resolution is to be more positive because I feel like I have fallen into negativity lately.
    And thank you for visiting my blog. I am new to the blogging world.

  20. You are so right, some people do like to hold on to the negative aspect of things before they look at the shiny positive moment. So rain falls on a outdoor day. You were so correct to enjoy the day with your sister. Shit happens, But once you are above ground you have a reason to smile.

  21. crappy stuff can be covered with smiley stuff… its hard to be sad or mad when smiling. I read that on a list of stuff to do when depressed once…I would break out in song but the only one who would enjoy that is my cat! She especially loves it when I sing “Casey Would Waltz With the Strawberry Blonde…ta da da da da…”

    Once in high school I was in a group called the Senior Seven…they were all close friends, and once they asked me to please not sing on a certain number. That still makes me smile because it was hilarious!

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