Annoyed

Six months ago I had surgery to remove an ovarian cyst. At the time I was told that recovery would take about 6 weeks. I knew at the time that recovery would probably take more than 6 weeks. But I just assumed at the most I would be off work for an extra month.

At every appointment after that my GP would tell me I was going to be off for even longer. First it was two or three months, then three or four months, then six months. And now I have no idea when I will be going back to work. It became obvious that something was slowing my recovery. Eventually I wasΒ diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

CFS is a condition that causes extreme tiredness, muscle pain and a whole load of other symptoms. For the past few months my life has revolved around working out how much activity I am able to do without becoming ill. But it seems that at the moment doing almost anything makes me ill.

As I am writing this I am having to deal with dizziness just from going to one short puppy training class. Even writing this post will make me tired. I never imagined that tiredness would affect my ability to think and get my thoughts in order but it does.

I think the most difficult thing about this is having to accept I have limits on how much I am able to do. Last summer I would quite easily have been able to spend 6 or 7 hours on my feet. Now I have to plan any trips around having a break whenever I need one. Even just going for a 10 minute walk can cause anything from breathlessness to back pain.

I do want to note that I am not writing this for pity or sympathy. I know that compared to some people my chronic fatigue is rather mild. But I need somewhere to vent. Because having a chronic illness really is rather annoying. I can’t go back to college this year simply because I can’t cope with 3 days of classes. I am bored almost constantly.

But I think the most annoying thing is that I have to just wait and see if I get better. And there is nothing my GP can do to help. He does as much as he can but that isn’t much. It turns out that Scotland is really a terrible place to have CFS. There are only 3 clinics in all of Scotland specialising in CFS/ ME. Which is pretty terrible when you compare that to England which has over 40 clinics.

In all this chronic fatigue thing is really annoying. I suppose there are some good things that have come out of all this. But I think I will save them for another day.

lolcat i was trying to get outta bed but i got tired

 

38 thoughts on “Annoyed

  1. Hi Bluechickenninja. I feel for you at this very moment. Its very frustrating as you want to get on and do the things you need and want to do but it’s just impossible at times. As long as you rest and don’t fight it (I know that’s hard to do) you stand a chance of getting better sooner. Best wishes, Jen

  2. I have a friend who’s battling this plus Lupus and she found a job that lets her work from home most of the time. It’s a writing job of some sort. I’m sorry it’s causing you such frustration. πŸ™ Feel better.

  3. You shouldn’t feel bad venting about this. Yes, there will be others out there who may have it worse, but that shouldn’t discount your feelings toward your illness. I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope we are able to find out more information about to manage it better.

  4. Have you had mononucleosis at sometime in your life? I’ve heard the people who have had that are more susceptible CFS. Rest, eat well and take vitamins. B100 is helpful. I take that, a multi vitamin and fish oil each day. Perhaps that can give you some help. I hope you feel well soon! πŸ™‚

    1. Nope never. My doc thinks it was caused by stress, but I’ve read that anaesthetic and surgery can make CFS worse so yeah… I might try a multi vitamin, see if that helps.

        1. My doctor has checked my iron levels a couple of times and seems to think I don’t need to take anything, but I will ask him at my next appointment about a multi vitamin.

  5. I am sorry to hear you are ill. I don’t know a lot about CFS but the little I do know tells me that it can be very debilitating. As for venting – that’s fine – you have to let off steam and best to do that is where there are people who understand.

  6. I have a family member with CFS. Her doc recommending going dairy and gluten free as these ingredients sometimes aggravate CFS symptoms. Sending healing prayers. Vent away. It’s what our blogs are for. πŸ™‚

  7. I was so sorry to read about your debilitating illness and I do hope your condition improves soon. I loved your cat meme at the end and feel inspired by your sense of humour despite your CFS, and I am sure that through your venting – which was so interesting to read – you will be inspiring many others too πŸ™‚

    1. My family are always making jokes during serious situations. My dad is always the person making jokes during funerals. I’m not sure why but a little bit of humor really helps during times like this.

  8. That is so hard. I suppose it is a time in your life for reading, learning and thinking in your own space. x

  9. Thanks for stopping by my site. Now that I know about this issue, I will keep you in my prayers for your soon recoverery. Lord Bless.

  10. Hey, venting is what the blogosphere is for! Chronic illnesses can be so debilitating, and so many people just don’t get it, particularly if it’s something like CFS where nothing appears obviously wrong on the outside. It’s good to let your voice be heard and get information out there.

    I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts, and hoping for a speedy resolution and recovery to this whole saga – you’ve been through hell and back at this point!

    1. Thanks. It does get a bit annoying when people say I look fine and assume this is something you get over in a couple of months. From what I’ve read it takes at least a couple of years. But yeah thanks πŸ™‚

  11. Find a good naturopath that would be my advice, someone who will look at things holistically and be able to prescribe diet changes, herbal medicines, nutritional supplements, lifestyle advice etc specifically tailored to you and the way you are experiencing CFS that would be great! They’ll work alongside any medico advice, it’s complementary not alternative. I’m in Australia and alas don’t have any contacts in the UK. All the best!

  12. Grrr… I know the feeling! I was diagnosed with a genetic condition called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome when I was 18. It has some similar symptoms to CFS, including fatigue, pain and just the general interruption of normal life with tons of medical appointments and rest.

    Having a chronic illness is really annoying, but you’ve just got to find a way to make the most of life and get around the boredom however you can. If you find a hobby you love that you can do lying down, it makes those bad days a whole lot easier to deal with. Don’t feel guilty investing your money into hobbies when you can if it keeps you sane. The sense of accomplishment is priceless. I write, crochet, hand sew & read if I’m stuck in bed.

    I’m glad to hear you only have a mild case and I hope you recover soon. In the mean time, don’t let it get the best of you for long!

    Amy

  13. I have Fibromalygia ( I still can’t spell this disease right) so I understand about fatigue, being tired all the time. Sometimes I’m tired and all I did was to get out of bed and take a shower and I’m tired already, I have to muster the energy to do other things, but some how I have to cope, it’s a must in order to live. I don’t allow people to make me feel guilty about “being tired” all the time and being labelled “lazy” They don’t know my story and who are they to judge besides nobody is better than anyone else we all have our flaws it’s just that some people love sitting in the judges seat, until it’s them who are being judged.

    Best wishes.

  14. Thank you for posting about this. My mom has had CFS my whole life. She tells me when my brother and I were little, she would sit down on the floor to play with us and wake up to discover us playing around her. Because of your posts, I am able to better understand what she experiences daily.
    As a side note, I am terrified the condition may be genetic. My mother was about my age when she was diagnosed. (I am 24.)

    1. You are very welcome, I’m glad it helped you understand how your mum feels.

      As far as I know CFS/ME isn’t genetic. Its normally caused by some sort of virus. It can also be caused by stress. I got CFS from a mixture of stress, anxiety, septicaemia and being very very unwell. So you don’t need to worry about getting it.

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