Holy Cow by David Duchovny

Holy Cow by David DuchovnyRating: 3 \ 5 stars
Format: Hardback
Published: 3rd February 2015
Book Depository | Goodreads

I realise that because today is April 1st you may think this is a joke review. No, that guy from The X-Files really did write a book about a cow that gets on a plane and flies to Tel Aviv. Normal service will now resume.

Elsie Bovary is a cow, and a pretty happy one at that—her long, lazy days are spent eating, napping, and chatting with her best friend, Mallory.

One night, Elsie and Mallory sneak out of their pasture; but while Mallory is interested in flirting with the neighboring bulls, Elsie finds herself drawn to the farmhouse. Through the window, she sees the farmer’s family gathered around a bright Box God—and what the Box God reveals about something called an “industrial meat farm” shakes Elsie’s understanding of her world to its core.

The only solution? To escape to a better, safer world. And so a motley crew is formed: Elsie; Shalom, a grumpy pig who’s recently converted to Judaism; and Tom, a suave turkey who can’t fly, but can work an iPhone with his beak. Toting stolen passports and slapdash human disguises, they head for the airport…

This was a weird book, it sort of has an important message. It tries to remind you that animals have feelings too and maybe eating meat is a bad thing. But that message was lost under poop jokes and the general silliness that is this book.

I just couldn’t believe that a cow was able to not be noticed in New York just by walking on two legs. I couldn’t believe that no one noticed the cow on the plane. I mean cows aren’t exactly that inconspicuous. I’m sure most people would recognise a cow if they were sitting next to one, even if said cow was wearing a hat and sunglasses.

I went into this book knowing that it was going to be very silly and it was still too silly for me. Though I have to say the one thing I found most unbelievable, more than a cow knowing who Jennifer Lawrence is. More than a turkey that knows how to fly a plane. Was that they had a phone that lasted 3 days before needing charged up.

Buy Holy Cow on Book Depository

Thanks for reading.
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*I received a copy of this book from Headline in exchange for an honest review.


37 Responses to “Holy Cow by David Duchovny”

  1. Val

    hahah three days indeed. That’s how you know it’s really fantasy 🙂

  2. Lynn Love

    Sounds very weird and a bit of a jumble, to be honest.
    As someone who wants to be published and knows it will be a long, slow haul to get there, there’s a tiny part of me (Okay, a sizeable part) that gets irritated when I see celebrities known for acting/comedy/singing/DJing or for just being a celebrity (yes, you Katie Price) becoming an author.
    I know it makes sense for the publisher- a ‘name’ guarantees a certain number of sales an unknown wouldn’t- but the more celebs on publishers’ lists, the less space there is for the talented newbie.
    Sour grapes? Heck yes!
    The truth is out there. 🙂

    • bluchickenninja

      I have to admit I was too young for The X-Files and I didn’t realise he was in it till my mum mentioned it. But now you say that it does feel like he got the deal partially because he was already famous.
      Bit annoying really, I would rather have a good book even if it is from an unknown author.

    • bluchickenninja

      Its funny, the cow actually talks about her life being made into an animated movie. And how she wants to be played by Jennifer Lawrence! Thanks for reading!

  3. Run Wright

    What did you like about the book to warrant the 3 stars? I don’t like giving low scores either so I usually look for something that I liked.

  4. curtisbausse

    “I went into this book knowing that it was going to be very silly and it was still too silly for me. ” Ha, ha! Great description of over the top silliness!

  5. tishandfipsyblog

    To be fair to David Duchovny, he has a BA and an MA in literature, and was doing a PHD. I enjoyed the book, it was supposed to be silly. I have to admit though, I was questioning the battery life of the phone… 😊


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