Insomnia is not fun. Its really not fun. Lying awake all night hoping that I might finally fall asleep. I take stuff so this doesn’t happen but it doesn’t always work. Whether that is because I was already tired when I went to bed meaning I have more trouble getting to sleep (CFS is weird like that). Or maybe there is something else keeping me awake. No matter what is causing it insomnia is no fun.

Like I said before I hate being in bed if I can’t sleep. But if I turn my laptop on, or read a book, or go play a game its like I’m admitting defeat. At least I won’t be bored but it also means I will be awake for longer. I have to think about what will happen the next day, my CFS doesn’t like it when I don’t get enough sleep. Do I admit I’m not going to get any sleep knowing I will feel like crap the next day (technically later on the same day). Or do I spend hours lying in bed looking up at my glow in the dark stars (yes I am an adult) hoping at some point I will manage to fall asleep.

I wrote this at 2am. I apologise if it makes no sense.

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37 Responses to “DAY ELEVEN”

  1. Aimer Boyz

    It makes a lot of sense. I’m up at night a lot. Usually, I do all the wrong things, get up and read or do laundry or watch Netflix and play games on my laptop. Two hours later, I drop into bed and finally get some sleep.
    I don’t have CFS though, and I don’t have to work in the morning so I figure it’s no big deal. I just hate lying there, tossing and turning. So freaking frustrating.

  2. mindfulaide

    No apology needed, I have been not sleeping very well either of late. It’s why all my Blogging A to Z are behind schedule! I am completely frazzled from lack of sleep! 😦

  3. Siqi

    No, no. It made perfect sense! Can put it in better words myself! Hope you’ll fall asleep soon enough.

  4. Waffles

    It makes lots of sense, i feel your pain i have been suffering with insomnia for about 4 years and have got to the point were doctors wont help. I’m not allowed anymore sleeping tablets and over the counter stuff just does not work. Ive tried herbal remedies and all the usual such as warm milk etc. To no effect ive been managing on roughly 3 hours a night for quite a while then just the odd days when my body and mind shut down and i crash. But i manage on it and have stopped asking myself why and just deal with it. I know this probably doesnt help but accepting it has worked for me. Yours, forever tired waffles😉

  5. moonike

    Earlier in March, I marked a day in my calendar with a happy smile and a comment saying: had a really good nights sleep! Was an amazing feeling to wake up happy and truly rested, also made me realize I cannot remember when was the last time I didn’t feel sleepy all day. .

    We might have different reasons for having trouble falling asleep, but seems neither is alone in this. 🙂 Sleep well tonight!

  6. gthecoolest

    It is okay to get out of bed and do something even though you know you should be sleeping. Sometimes if you find something to do that is slow and relaxing, that can help in putting you to sleep. It is okay to fall asleep reading a boring book on the recliner. LOL

    Avoid exercise a few hours before bed, because in some people, like me, it will increase the energy level. It is known as a method to fight fatigue.

    Remember, clearing you mind is the key, stop movement, close your eyes, take deep breaths and if you have to, plug your ears. haha

    I hope you get some sound sleep soon.

  7. orgoh

    Sounds frustrating. I have the opposite problem – cannot stay awake and so much still to do

  8. Joanne Corey

    I’m sorry sleep is so hard. I realize it is compounded with CFS because, even when you sleep, you often don’t ever go into deep sleep, so you don’t feel rested. 😦

  9. Lola Elvy

    I can relate to not being able to sleep. It’s less because of insomnia, and more just a personality tick for me, though. I end up writing a lot of things in the middle of the night (or morning; whichever way you want to look at it). I enjoy staying up late into the night; the only trouble is that then I sleep in until eight or nine in the morning.


    • bluchickenninja

      Yeah I find I get a bunch of writing done at night, it actually helps me sleep because I get the thing I’m thinking about out of my head. I used to not mind staying up late, I would be up till 2am then awake again at 8am for work. But now because of the CFS I need to get my 10 hours of sleep no matter what. So its not that staying up till 2am annoys me, its that I know when I do finally get to sleep I won’t be up again till 11am, basically an entire morning wasted.

      • Lola Elvy

        I imagine sleeping in until eleven could be difficult. It must be hard to have both insomnia and CFS; it’s good writing helps, though.

        —Lola Elvy

        • bluchickenninja

          As far as I can tell the insomnia is a symptom of the CFS. You would think with a chronic tiredness problem I would at least be able to sleep!

  10. koehlerjoni

    Hang in there. I also belong to the can’t sleep club. I refer to myself as a dyslexic sleeper, because anything out of my ordinary routine can keep me from sleeping. I’ll just put on my inspirational coach hat and say that I know you have all the resources you need to manage this issue.

    • bluchickenninja

      Hahaha yup! I’ve tried just about everything. Most of the time I get to sleep okay but like you said, if I mess up my routine that can keep me from sleeping.

  11. Lola Elvy

    That’s a shame that insomnia is a symptom of CFS; must make it all the more difficult. A bit of an ironic illness.

    • bluchickenninja

      Yeah thats my feeling about it. I do take stuff to help, though it doesn’t help much. I was taking a higher dose for a while which really did help but it also made me feel like a zombie during the day. But I suppose it could be worse!

  12. Lola Elvy

    I suppose it could be worse, yes. It still sounds like a lot of work, though.

      • Lola Elvy

        It’s good that you’re able to maintain relative distance with the situation, and that you’ve at least found activities to suitably occupy your time.

  13. Lola Elvy

    It’s good that you’ve found activities to help lessen your boredom, then.


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