Insomnia is not fun. Its really not fun. Lying awake all night hoping that I might finally fall asleep. I take stuff so this doesn’t happen but it doesn’t always work. Whether that is because I was already tired when I went to bed meaning I have more trouble getting to sleep (CFS is weird like that). Or maybe there is something else keeping me awake. No matter what is causing it insomnia is no fun.
Like I said before I hate being in bed if I can’t sleep. But if I turn my laptop on, or read a book, or go play a game its like I’m admitting defeat. At least I won’t be bored but it also means I will be awake for longer. I have to think about what will happen the next day, my CFS doesn’t like it when I don’t get enough sleep. Do I admit I’m not going to get any sleep knowing I will feel like crap the next day (technically later on the same day). Or do I spend hours lying in bed looking up at my glow in the dark stars (yes I am an adult) hoping at some point I will manage to fall asleep.
I wrote this at 2am. I apologise if it makes no sense.