On Having Time

On Having Time | bluchickenninja.com

It has been 3 years now since I was first diagnosed with CFS. Around 3 and a half since I first got CFS. And in that time I’ve come to realise how valuable my time is. I need to explain. I’ve been blogging for almost 5 years. At the beginning I decided I would write a post once a week. This would go up on a Sunday. I don’t think I managed that at all. I wrote like 2 or 3 posts a month. I was still making YouTube videos at the same time but not very frequently. At the time I told myself this is because I was busy with work. And I was, but not that busy. I was working part time so around 20 hours a week. Looking back I now realise this wasn’t actually a lot. I had ample amounts of free time that could have been spent blogging but instead I spent hours watching YouTube videos and scrolling around on Tumblr.

Now 3 years later and though I’m studying a full time course I would say I actually have more free time. I now know that I want to be doing something during that time, whether it be writing or designing or doing some other creative thing. But I can’t because the amount of energy I have is something I need to take into consideration. I’m now at this point where I’m watching YouTube videos or on Reddit and I’m annoyed because I know the thing holding me back from doing something is my CFS. And it really annoys me. I get so frustrated because I want to be doing something with my time and can’t do anything.

I guess what I’m trying to say is your time is a precious thing. Don’t waste it.

Thanks for reading.
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14 Responses to “On Having Time”

  1. Isa

    I’ve lived with chronic fatigue for 6 years now and sometimes I still struggle when I have to accept I can’t do something or I can’t do it at a ‘normal’ pace. Being organised helps me to plan ahead and make sure I use my time wisely, but I still have a tendency to want to do more than I’m able to…

  2. 1966colin

    I guess we can all make an “excuse” for why we haven’t had time to do something. It’s when we are “shown” that we don’t actually have the time that we realise how much we could have done. However I have also learnt that you can’t beat yourself up as we make decisions based on all the information we have to hand at that time . That information with the infamous hindsight will change. But you can’t”judge” your past based on the your current. Be the best you can be in the present and keep the past for good memories – hey who hasn’t sat and watched You Tube videos when they know they should be working!

  3. CaptainKirt

    I’ve never been a fan of the term CFS since I think it doesn’t quite describe the condition, at least it doesn’t in my wife’s case. I feel for your struggle.

  4. Anonymous

    Wonderful composition
    I will say it’s a born art
    Keep on going
    A long distance to go…..

  5. Journals of a Wildflower

    I have complete empathy. I was diagnosed with CFS recently. Time is a precious thing. It feels so frustrating when we cannot be as productive as we once used to be. Stay strong.

  6. thesoulfulwanderer1

    So very true lovely. You should be so proud that you are studying full time! I am too and it can be challenging with CFS. Blogging is a great outlet to help deal with it. Sending you love xxx


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