I Really Didn’t Like Cinderella

A few days ago I found out that Cinderella – the live action Disney remake version- was on Netflix. I decided to watch it because I had been wanting to for a long time. Very quickly I realised I did not like this movie in the slightest. I could have done some sort of review but instead I thought I would share some notes I took while watching the film.

  • Well they included Gus Gus and his bit of cheese which is a cute call back to the original movie.

  • I don’t know much about filmmaking but this conversation has been shot in a really strange way. Normally at some point you would see the two characters in the shot at the same time. But for both it’s just close ups on the characters on their own. It doesn’t even feel like they are standing next to each other. They could be halfway across the garden and you would never know.
  • Why do they show someone passing him the present. He could have just appeared with it and she could have had the exact same line. There is no reason for someone to sneakily give it to him.
  • Is she just going to die just cause she’s shit?
  • Yes she is.
  • Why don’t they explain if she’s sick or dying. Cause it appears that she’s just sick, but they are acting like she is literally going to die in the next 5 minutes.
  • He’s a pretty terrible father for not checking if Cinders and the two step-sisters get along before moving them in.
  • His face looks weird and I can’t tell why.
  • Like is he just pretending to not hear them bully Cinders? HE’S STANDING RIGHT THERE

  • She is exactly what I would expect an evil step-mother to look like. I may have watched The Devil Wear’s Prada just a few too many times…..
  • He’s totally gonna die.
  • They’ve done a very good job of making the step-sisters look like the animated versions.
  • Okay she isn’t happy about living in the attic but I would love having somewhere that no one would want to annoy me.
  • Also how the heck did they fit that massive tower inside the house? Is it like the tardis?
  • Oh wait. Is he dead? That’s such a shock!
  • Nothing says I love you like an old branch.

  • Oh wait. The step-mother is ginger. That explains everything.
  • Oh god.
  • Cinder+ella=Cinderella.
  • Please stop.
  • This is hurting me.
  • Can someone do a version of Cinderella where Prince Charming isn’t needed to save the day.

  • The panto version of this scene is way better. It also has more glitter.
  • Why do so many people die in this movie?
  • Too busy playing what movie was that actor in to actually watch the film.
  • Never thought I would see Nonso Anozie, Rob Brydon and Stellan Skarsgård in the same movie.
  • Omg Nonso Anozie did the voice for Hydroflax in Doctor Who. TIL!
  • I’m lost. Why is Rob Brydon lying on the ground?
  • Why are they making the mother and sisters so over the top evil. Isn’t it bad enough that she’s treated like a maid.
  • Wait. We’re 40 minutes in and the ball is about to happen? Are the credits just really long or something? Or have they done the awful thing and added more story to make it longer.
  • If this was a panto there would be two men in dresses throwing flour at each other right now.
  • Okay but why is she so mean. Being evil is fine but I like it when there is a reason.
  • Going with the classic help an old hag to prove she’s nice thing.
  • HAIRY DOGFATHER

  • Omg she looks like Glinda.
  • People who would be a better fairy godmother than Helena Boham Carter: basically any 90 year old lady.
  • You know the difference between a fairy and a fairy godmother. Wrinkles.
  • Okay we get it. The dress is swooshy.
  • She’s a pretty terrible fairy if she can’t make a pumpkin turn into a carriage for more than 4 hours.
  • [insert something witty about never turning up to a party on time]
  • It makes me mad that they came so close to having the Once Upon A Dream music.
  • I bet Stellan Skarsgård’s character is going to try and split them up.
  • You would be so pissed if you get invited to some fancy party and have to spend the whole thing watching the Prince dance with some fake princess.
  • Okay bored now. 

If you don’t know how it ends she runs away, he finds her using her shoe and they live happy ever after. 3/10.

Thanks for reading.
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14 Responses to “I Really Didn’t Like Cinderella”

  1. TeacherofYA

    I haven’t watched it yet…but I did record it on the movie channel when I saw it was on. I was hoping to watch it soon.
    I don’t think these retellings for Disney are working out…🤔

    Reply
    • bluchickenninja

      I really really hope Beauty and the Beast turns out good. But apparently they are doing Aladdin, Mulan and The Little Mermaid too. So far I feel it’s just Disney trying to make money.

      Reply
      • TeacherofYA

        Yup. That’s exactly what it is…popular or not. Why make new plots when you can recycle old ones and make money from it? Even if people don’t like them, they still go and see them bc it’s their fave cartoon Disney movie!

        Reply
  2. Angela

    I like what you did there with inserting your notes under each scene you had a comment for – very entertaining.

    Reply
  3. justyouraveragejane

    I feel like this goes on in my head too while I watch something I’m not really in to. Great idea to write down your thoughts. Your notes get funnier and funnier as the movie progresses. “Nothing says I love you like an old branch”. Hah!

    Reply
  4. Gabby Granny

    Okay, you’ve got me. I have to go watch the dumb thing. First, I’ll have to make a bucket of popcorn to throw at the screen.

    Reply
  5. A March Wrap-Up – bluchickenninja

    […] it. I’m going to do a post about it at some point but it will be similar in style to the I Didn’t Like Cinderella post. Everyone seemed to really like that style of liveblogging a movie which is good because I […]

    Reply

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